Clarence Q.

Instagram: @ClarenceQuartermanJr

Type of Dad: Dads with Multiples

What's unique about your experience because of the Type of Dad you are? 

I am an old school, yet a conventional type of Dad. Children are growing up in different times, but I feel they still need that grounding or reality check when they get out of line. I am all for being able to express your thoughts and feelings, but you will be courteous and respectful in doing that.

Please tell us what it's like to walk a mile in your shoes? 

I am a father of 3, two boys and one girl. My wife is a stay-at-home mom. Every free minute I get, I love spending it with my family and encouraging my kids to be all that they can be. I want them to know that can be done and be anything they want and never to let anyone discourage them from their dreams...not even me!

Who have you become since you became a father? 

Becoming a father has made me a lot more patient and take a different approach to many things in life. My first child was a boy, and I was very strict and hard on him in his first years, because I always felt like if he understood I didn't play at an early age, he would be less likely to act up. I probably was a little too strict, and I saw that sometimes my son felt like he couldn't be himself around me for fear that I would fuss at him. Since making that realization, I try not to be as strict and talk a lot more and spend more time with all of my kids so they know that they can come to me for anything, and I've already been through most situations they will face in life.

What are some of the unforgettable moments that you hold dear? 

Watching each of my children be born will always keep a special place in my heart. I've always prided myself on being there for my family under any circumstances.

What are some of your challenges/wins as a Dad? 

The most challenging thing is being the sole provider financially but still trying to find the time to spend QT with the kids and the wife. Even when you are tired and your three years old wants to play with lego blocks and pretend monsters are coming to get her. Or when your wife needs time alone with an adult because 90% of her days are spent with children and being responsible for everybody at all times. That is the most challenging for me wanting to be there for every little moment and milestone but also knowing that the bills need to get paid.

What/who are your influences/influencers? 

My biggest influencer growing up was my Dad. I didn't understand his sacrifices and struggles growing up, so I frequently acted out. Trying to raise a family of my own is difficult. Seeing first hand that there is no manual or guide to raising the perfect kids adds to the difficulty. I often look at some of the things I gave my father the hardest times about and now realize that as difficult as the decision must have been for him to make. It means the world to me that he never backed down or gave up because though I didn't agree with some of his decisions, they have made me the man I am today, and for that, I will always be thankful.

What were the three best decisions you've ever made as a Dad? 

Marrying my beautiful wife.

Deciding to be there and sacrifice anything I have to, as long as it means a better life for my family.

Demanding respect not just for my wife and me but all elders, I feel like the newer generations are lacking that fear element that the "old school" parenting brought into play.

How are you making an impact now with your family, community, life? 

My goal is to raise kind, God-fearing, productive citizens, who are not only compassionate but strong and able to protect themselves from the many harsh realities of the world. I want to instill the sense of community and taking care of one's community and always giving back, whether it be time or money.

What's some of the best advice you've received as a man? Best advice you've given? 

The best advice I was given came in a work setting, a former manager told me to "Be the person that takes the initiative and asks for forgiveness, rather than ask for permission" That changed my life, because from that moment I realized taking the initiative and getting things done gets you further than sitting back and waiting on someone else.

How do you want to be remembered? What does legacy mean to you? 

I want to be remembered as someone who always puts his best foot forward. Life has taught me that being positive gets you a lot further because your thoughts and words have so much power.

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